On March 24, 2007, my sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I was pregnant at the same time as her with Chloe, and we were due only 5 months apart. We had always talked about how we dreamed of having our kids at the same time, being pregnant together, shopping for baby clothes & watching our kids grow up together, knowing that they would be best friends.. just like us. It really was a dream come true when we both found out we were pregnant & even more exciting that we were both having girls! But then something happened, that neither one of us could have ever imagined.. just one month after I had Chloe, my sister went into labor.. but she wasn't due until July..
There was nothing they could do to stop the labor, and it was just too early.. she was just too little. On March 24, 2007, my sister's beautiful baby girl flew to heaven.
I will never understand why I am able to sit here and watch my daughter playing on the floor next to me, while my sister can only dream of what her little girl would have looked like today, or what her favorite toys & movies would have been at age 3. Each one of Chloe's birthdays, each milestone she reaches, each little dress I buy for her, are reminders of what my sister is missing. And when I'm exhausted from being up all night with a sick toddler, or when I'm complaining about her tantrums, picky eating, & whining to be held all day, I know that my sister is wishing with every ounce of her being to hold her baby again, to be up all night with her while she's sick, to deal with a thousand & one tantrums. It's just not fair.. she should be here, too.
My sister once told me that right after Zoe was born, she started noticing pink flowers everywhere she went & that now every time she sees pink flowers, it reminds her of Zoe. Today Chloe & I picked some pretty pink flowers for Zoe, & I sat for awhile with her, smelling the flowers, feeling the missing, & breathing in all that I have to be grateful for.
Happy 3rd birthday, tiny angel. We will never, ever forget you.
Auntie, Carter & Chloe x